


where the sea sleeps

by adumpeesdumpers



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cute, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, HE, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, Not Beta Read, Strangers to Lovers, Xiaohen boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 07:40:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29506341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adumpeesdumpers/pseuds/adumpeesdumpers
Summary: Renjun always fails to build a stone tower by himself that is how clumsy his hands are.So, it was a surprise that when he came to the rock formation where he was yesterday only to see the same stone tower he failed to build standing there upright that no wind could topple.And on a rainy day after a storm he finally meet the person who just by doing that small thing was enough for him to be curious of who he is.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 17





	where the sea sleeps

**Author's Note:**

> Holla back with a renmin fic! Don't mind the inconsistencies and mistakes please! Hope you like it! (๑・ω-)～♥”

"Huang Renjun! Stop slacking and start packing!"

"Wow that's a rhyme!"

"Shut up and get to work!"

"No fun."

Renjun scans around his bedroom looking for anything worth packing, worth taking with him wherever he goes. Something he can't leave without.

Alas. There was none left.

Later today the moving truck will arrive and then they'll set off for their new house, hopefully a home he can call finally.

He's actually not the type of a person who holds something so dearly, what he means is that he's not a sentimental one. In regards to things, the opposite of his brother xiaojun who keeps on collecting receipts, candy wrapper and many pieces of trash he can't understand why he does.

One time he asked his older brother about it then he answered,

"That's actually simple injun-ah, if i ever miss someone i could open my box of memories then seeing a thing or two would remind me and will take me back down memory lane."

He was still confused, it wasn't enough for him so he probed.

"Can't you just remember it yourself without having a piece of trash instigating it?"

His brother laughs, eyes twinkling as he looks at his younger brother fondly. "You see injun, not all people have the same memory capacity as you."

"Some of us can only hold a little, that's why we needed something to help us remember it. Because without it, time may come and that memory will be lost and gone forever."

Xiaojun scotted closer and hugged his younger brother who still seemed lost despite all that he said, "It's not a piece of trash when it's from the person you value the most."

Their parents are well known doctors and they made it their life goal to help the marginalised people whenever they can. Since he was a kid, Renjun grew up leaving and leaving.

They can't stay in one place because there's always a lot of people who are in need of help and their parents will go through a storm just to help them if they can.

Right now they're staying in busan for three months when their parents received a call of help from their friends if they could move and help the ones in jeju because it seems like there's an unknown disease spreading from the residents there.

Long live their stay here in Busan even though it's just a short while, nothing to feel bad about.

When he was done going through his stuff he changed his clothes wearing a white moomin shirt and a black shorts paired up with his Birkenstocks and off he went.

Renjun was ten years old when he realized how his parents would go through anything to help others but can't seem to look after their own children.

He was fifteen when he realized that maybe it is for the best and that there's much more important thing to do than look after a kid, much more people in need than him a whining brat.

Twenty when he had enough thinking and just decided it's best going with the flow, it's not like he had a say in anything really.

One thing, he only asked for one thing from his parents then. "To live near the sea."

So, for the years and years to come they've been living near the sea as much as possible. Even if it's a few hours away from where his parents will be working, though they don't even sleep in their house so it's okay. It's a house he can say only him and his older brother Xiaojun live in.

His older brother who's only a year older than him grew up fast for his sake. Xiaojun didn't get yo experience a nice childhood not like renjun did, but his brother made it his role in life to be the parent figure his parents failed to do so for renjun.

Xiaojun learned to cook for him starting from a burnt spam that he was forced to eat despite the taste for it's his brother who cooked for him. That gesture alone could bring tears to his face whenever he remembers it.

That's why for years he had resent his parents because he felt bad for his brother taking their role who is now forgetting he had a life of his own, until he came.

Hendery.

He was their neighbour when he was ten, hendery's parents are wealthy business people so it's rocket science that he only gets to eat what was cooked to him by their helpers.

Hendery was lonely so was Renjun and his brother.

Since then, xiaojun began to cook for the two of them. Which eventually leads to him falling in love with hendery and now they're boyfriends. Obviously.

It's actually a bit envying, because Renjun wanted what they have.

Whenever they leave, hendery would go with them. Wherever it is. His parents allowed him, much to their happiness really since there's no longer someone they're going to take care of, not that they did so in the past. Hendery's parents only sent him money after money and that's it.

The three of them become a small family, the family they build due to the loneliness their parents implanted in them.

At the back of their house here in Busan there's a five minute walk until he reaches the sea. The sun is starting to set and any minute from now the moving truck will arrive so Renjun walks a bit faster so that he could bid his farewell to the sea he became acquainted to for the past months.

The sun rays hit him like a spotlight when he emerges and his feet are now walking on a thin and white sand.

A few people in the area were also watching the sun setting and meeting the sea as they went. 

Some pigeons are walking in the sand, running when the kids start chasing them and flying after.

The laughter echoes in the sea together with the sound of the waves hitting the shore. 

Renjun closes his eyes and inhales, taking a whip of the smell of the sea one last time, even though the sea is connected he can't help but bid his farewell to this busan sea. Like he won't be seeing it again.

His inky black hair swinging from the wind hitting his face lightly, salted air filling his nose as he bask in the light of the setting sun.

"It was short but you made me happy and enjoyed my stay here. It's a farewell but I do hope to see you again in this lifetime."

He murmured with his eyes still closed. With one last sigh, he opened his eyes only to be met with a darkening view of the sea. Renjun smiled and whispered,

"so long."

It was great. He'll take it with him. 

A few hours later they're unloading their things from the truck, more like them. It's not that he can't, he won't. He's sleepy and he hasn't eaten anything for the night he's really hungry that it's making him grumpy.

From nearby he heard hendery chuckling as he lifted a box of things, "jun-ah stop squinting your eyes you look awful." When he passed by Renjun who's sitting on the porch he struggled a bit to ruffle his hair which Renjun swatted harshly.

"Easy their boy, dejun-ah feed your dog or it might start biting!" he shouted to xiaojun who was also lifting boxes after boxes.

"Don't piss him off hendery or you might be sleeping outside tonight!" his older brother replied, walking towards him this time. Xiaojun placed the box on their feet before he sat down beside renjun.

He scooted closer and held Renjun's head on his shoulder while he softly caressed his younger brother's back, with his eyes closed. "Hmm, I'm hungry hyung." renjun whines that earned him a chuckle from his brother.

His laughter sent a sweet tingle in Renjun's heart, he liked it like this. Making his brother laugh and happy, he might not show it but his brother is the most important person in his life. Well, second will be hendery even though he will deny it.

Because they're the only people who stay.

Everyone else leaves.

"You should say so, I've prepared a packed food for us to eat anyway. Follow me inside and I'll give it to you. Now stand up." 

Albeit whiny he did stand up with the help of his brother who only smiles due to how cute Renjun looks, eyes barely open and lips in a pout. Xiaojun does have a cute younger brother.

Throughout the night when the movers were gone to stay at a nearby cottage for the night since the boat to the city will be made available tomorrow, hendery and xiaojun started unpacking while renjun slept on the couch after freshening up.

He's spoiled really.

The next morning he had a brief breakfast with his parents present to join them who already arrived in jeju a few days ago, they only took a shower and a few clothes with them and they're leaving again.

Like they always do.

"Don't mind them injun-ah. Please understand." hendery consoles him when he sees the dejected look on his face.

With a try hard one, he smiled to show it's okay for him. He's used to it so it should be okay when it's not.

"Don't worry hyung, I'm okay." he said with that fake smile still plastered on his face like he always does whenever this question is being asked, everytime. And it's not like his hyung and hendery could not see the pain in his face, how it quenches his brother's heart to see him in that state because truth be told there's nothing they could do.

Even though they're all old enough, there's no denying they still need a parent to be there for them.

Renjun stood up then bid his goodbye, "I'll be near the sea hyung."

Both of them nodded and with just that he left.

With a broken heart longing for a parents he couldn't have.

It's not like he's not content with what his hyung and hendery are doing for him, he couldn't ask for more really. But time and time again he just can't help it.

Like now, their house is located in an upper hill area so he needs to walk down to go to the sea. On his way, he saw a family eating their breakfast happily outside their house where a small table was placed.

They were chatting so heartily, he needed to look away because it's fueling the envy inside him.

A mother kissing her daughter on the cheek goodbye as she's going to school for the day was what he witnessed when he averted his eyes from that family. And another scene of family again and again, it's like the whole world is mocking him.

He can't help but let out a sarcastic chuckle as he walks faster which turns into running, he wants to get away.

It's starting to suffocate him.

It's getting harder to breath.

He runs with bits of tears falling behind him as he does, blurring his sight as he goes.

Renjun collapsed on the sand while breathing heavily, tears streaming down his face and his shoulder shaking because he could barely hold it in.

Hurt.

The pain of something he can't name really hurts him.

Calming after a few minutes he stood up and dusted himself, a few feet away a rock formation caught his eyes. Before he could walk there, first he faced the sea and took a long inhale while closing his eyes, holding it in for a while, then exhaled and opening his eyes.

He's good.

Of course he is.

Should be.

Thank goodness the rock formation is not that hard to climb, moreso there's no pointy rocks on the surface that could puncture the sole of his feet. It's also not slippery.

When he reached the top he was standing on a cliff like place, the view from where he stood was spectacular and very comforting.

The wind there is much harsher compared down below, it's ringing in his ears but it doesn't faze him not one bit.

"Hello, I am Huang Renjun and it's nice to meet you." He greeted the sea like he always does.

There's a lot of scattered stones in the area, Renjun doesn't know what got him but he decided to build a stone tower but after how many tries he failed.

Maybe he's just not that good with balance, hence why he refuses to help carry the boxes or he might toppled over and ruin what's inside.

He could only sigh and put a piece of stone there, hoping some miracle will happen and that stone will form itself.

For hours he sat there and stared, strangely there's just something with the sea he couldn't fathom that truly brings peace inside him.

The moment the sun rays become harder to withstand, he left.

He'll be back in no time anyway.

The next day he came back with a piece of four by four canvas with him and his satchel full of art materials, he did painting for leisure. A hobby he enjoys from time to time when he's bored and in need of diversion to take his mind off things he shouldn't be dwelling about.

It's still early so the sun isn't that hot, Renjun also found a small bamboo cottage a few walks away from the rock formations. There were a few trees there too that served as a resting place for those who'd swam in the sea.

Maybe because it's early that's why there's no one in the area so he put his things on the bamboo table first before walking to the rock formation to say his greetings to the sea like he always does.

He's wearing a white jersey he perceives is own by hendery and a snap back to keep his hair away from his eyes while he paints. 

When he got on top like he did yesterday he said his greetings to the sea before closing his eyes and enjoying the ocean smells and breeze coming right at him. 

Getting his daily dose of sea he smiled and turned around to walk back when he saw the stone tower he tried making yesterday standing there with two stones atop each other. 

Renjun had to take a double look even to the point of rubbing his eyes to prove he's not seeing things. 

But it's there. 

Standing still and firmly that no amount of strong wind could topple.

He should actually be creeped out about being stalked if that's the case or the fact that someone is doing things for him but he didn't. 

Instead he was pleased by the gesture, that someone did that for him because they know he can't do it alone. Renjun walked closer and then sat down before the stone tower, a genuine smile plastered on his face as he stared at it for a while. 

Wishing his luck isn't as bad as he thought with trembling hands he picked the suitable and nice looking stone near him and slowly, he paused and hesitated again. 

Slowly, no no, Renjun closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them with determination to add a new stone. 

He bit his lower lip hard enough that it almost drew blood as he concentrated on putting that piece of stone, Renjun didn't notice he was holding his breath when he breathed a sigh of relief when he safely put the stone on the tower but that relief didn't last long because as expected it fell. 

Piece by piece that three stones fell right in before him and it's his fault. 

This time he bit his lips so hard it's bleeding but Renjun didn't mind. He gasped and looked up to wilt the tears away, Renjun doesn't know why he's so emotional over the stone towers falling but he can't help it.

The guilt of failing that someone in keeping the stone tower standing is creeping up inside him. 

Looking back down again his bloody lips tremble at the sight of the scattered stones. Renjun sighs and tries to rebuild it again, again, and again. 

Obviously like yesterday and in the past he failed. 

Feeling more down and dejected he threw one last glance on the mess that he made and turned around to go home and mope. Renjun lost the motivation to paint or do something, he just wanted to lay down, sleep or maybe stare in the distance.

His brother Xiaojun was shocked to see him coming back early when he said earlier that he'll be in the sea to paint. It usually took him hours when he's in the zone so seeing him back is off. But like the understanding brother that he is, Xiaojun just nodded and brushed it off and let his younger brother cool down. 

Hendery was not home because he's out to do some grocery shopping for them to stock. Xiaojun remains unpacking and organizing stuff that hasn't been unpacked while Renjun stayed inside his room for the entirety of the day only going out to eat.

"That's a lot of work, hyung." Renjun comments when he sees the closed boxes on the floor and the things scattered ready to be placed somewhere. 

Xiaojun smiled and put a piece of beef meat on his younger brother's plate before he spoke, "Nah it's okay injun-ah. "

Maybe it's because of what happened earlier or the sight of his parents during breakfast yesterday that prompted Renjun to say, "What's the use, hyung? We won't be staying here for long, what's the purpose of organizing only to stock it back inside a box when we move again. "

"It's like wearing clothes when you know you'll only get wet. "

The table was filled with silence after he said that, Xiaojun stared at his bowl of half eaten rice and the beans on top of it ready to be picked by his chopsticks to eat. Renjun continued eating like he didn't say something, he ate and ate but he can't taste anything. 

After a few moments Xiaojun picked his food and guided it to his mouth then paused again, "Right. But injun-ah just because it look useless or pointless doesn't necessarily mean that it's like that. "

"Why do we keep on trying even if we know we'll fail? Perhaps it's the hope that maybe someday? Or probably because despite failing at least we tried? I'm doing this because even though it's only a short stay I don't want to live in a house so empty and lifeless, even just for a short while I want to make our stay here comfortable and somehow enough to feel like home. "

Renjun thought about what he did with the stone tower earlier, did he do that because he's hoping that he can make it after how many tries? Or maybe to ease the guilt and show that at least he's trying? 

They continue eating in silence and after being full Renjun excuses himself to sleep. And his sleep comes at 4 am in the morning where it's the coldest, one of the loneliest times of the day. 

For days he didn't go there afraid of what he'll see perhaps, to his brother's surprise he stayed and helped him unpack. Hendery even joked about him being possibly possessed hence his actions but he just ignored their words and did his task silently, lost in thought. 

It was after four days that he decided to go down and have a look at all of the things he could do in the house. He ran out of it already, he's so bored. 

Perhaps excuses. 

To his surprise that's not so the stone tower is back again just like before it fell only that there's three of them now, the one he failed to steady and caused it's fall. 

Renjun finally smiled after a few days of moping that even his brother noticed his sudden change when he got back home that Xiaojun and Hendery both exchanged confused looks only to be stopped by Renjun's murderous stare. 

"Ha ha ha ha, eat up injun-ah. " Hendery coaxed Renjun to roll his eyes and aggressively stuff himself with some rice to hide his smile. 

For the coming days Renjun always went down and painted while the stone tower which was three stone before now stands with six stones. 

It's really amazing to witness such, he can't even pile a three even six. Such unbelievable balance, maybe they have magic hands? Renjun can't relate. 

That has become his routine and he pretty much enjoyed it. But happiness is short-lived. 

There was a sudden news about a storm coming in their area, Renjun was woken up by the strong wind knocking on their rooftop. The loud pitter patter of the rain hitting the floor, he immediately stood up from his lying position on his bed. Eyes weary and hair in a mess as he walks in unstable footsteps in the living room. 

His brother and hendery were both sipping their hot chocolate one is reading the newspaper while the latter is spreading peanut butter on his bread munching on it loudly who nodded at him when he saw Renjun stepping out of his own room. 

"Morning brat!" Hendery greeted Renjun pulled and sat at the chair beside him, hendery hurriedly made him a sandwich and handed him one while xiaojun folded the newspaper and started making hot chocolate for his brother. 

"What's happening? "Renjun sleepily asks, the bread trapped in between his mouth as he speaks. 

Hendery hums and says, "There's a storm coming. "

"Ah. "Renjun nodded, "AHHHH! " he shouted after his stone tower. 

"What? What? " Hendery asked, startled by his shout, shoulder sagging and eyes staring into space he answered, "My stone tower. "

"Ha?"

Xiaojun placed the mug of hot chocolate in front of him and took his seat, "The stone tower a stranger built for him by the sea. " He answered for his boyfriend to understand. Hendery nodded in response and tried to console his future brother in law, "It's okay injun-ah it can withstand this storm trust it. "

All the more he got sad, it could barely stand its ground by the strong wind before what about now? Well, probably? What is bad luck plus he's not the one who made the tower anyway, perhaps it can? 

But what if? 

Seeing the look on his face xiaojun too added, "Hendery's right baby, don't worry after this storm passes you can check it yourself and I'm sure it's still there, standing. "

Renjun didn't reply and just ate in silence. 

The storm lasted for two days bringing with it the strong winds and heavy rain. The moment it slowed down with just a little bit of rain, Renjun then hurriedly wore his raincoat and ran to the sea by the rock formations. 

His heart beats fast as he descends the hill, feet moving frantically in the familiar path that leads to the place and thing that keeps him happy and content despite feeling lonely sometimes. 

Truth be told he doesn't know why he's this much attached to that stone tower, why he values it so much. 

It's always the cliches quotes that always hit the hardest. 

"You'll only realize it's importance when it's gone. "

Not that he didn't value or just took for granted the stone tower before, instead it actually heightens what it means to him the moment the storm came. 

That stone tower was made by someone for him, he also doesn't understand why they did that but he somehow learns not to question that part for the sake of his heart, he'll just be grateful for the gesture. 

He is so much grateful. 

When he was near the sea the rain started to pour harder again but not as much as before, while climbing the rock formations some raindrops fell on his eye hindering his eyesight. 

Thankfully he managed to safely climb despite the difficulty.

Renjun was looking down on where he was going afraid he'll slip so his focus was entirely on the ground, when he reached the part where some small rocks are scattered he smiled to himself that immediately froze when he realized the possibility of seeing that stone tower destroyed.

He bit his lips in nervousness before taking a deep breath and walked closer and closer, oh god what if? 

Slapping his face he sighs and lifts his gaze from the ground to what's in front of him. 

"ah. "

His breathing hitch when instead he was met by a stranger's gaze. That guy was also wearing a raincoat, a yellow one, a yellow umbrella held on his right hand while the left hand was holding a stone on its way for the fourth layer of the stone tower. 

The guy stopped mid action when he saw Renjun approaching and now before him. 

Both of them froze. Both taking all in each other's appearance. With a bit of rain, Renjun can't fully see the guy's features but he sure can tell that he is quite handsome.

His face with no trace of smile makes him come off as cold and aloof. For some reason Renjun knew he isn't at all like that. Perhaps it has something to do with the guy building his stone tower for him? Because if he is just how his face feels like, how would a cold guy be here amidst this rain just after a strong storm just to put stone after stone?

Does that make sense?

Although Renjun also knew he can't perceive someone based on his appearance, the same goes with his actions that he only knew off a little. It wasn't enough to make assumptions of who he is.

But, Renjun knew deep down he could trust him.

The silence and the stillness broke when the guy's hand that was holding a stone fell from his hold directly smacking down the already made tower. All fell one by one on the ground.

Renjun should be sad by that fact but instead he was laughing when he saw the look on the guy's face. He looked so betrayed, eyes widened in shock as he stared with mouth agape at the fallen stones on the ground.

Like he just can't believe that happened.

"Thi-this is the first time it happened to me." He said out loud suddenly, disbelief still in his eyes.

Wiping his tears from laughter, Renjun composed himself then walked slowly towards the other. When he was in front of him, Renjun crouched down and fiddled with the stones on the ground dampening his palm and fingers with it.

He laughs again, "You should be lucky for having perfect luck, for me well you probably know about it. I have never successfully built a stone tower ever." As Renjun said this, he slowly and carefully tried to build it himself probably hoping to succeed this time.

Like usual, on his third stone it fell apart.

"See?" Renjun demonstrates he should actually feel bad like he usually does every time he fails. Strangely enough he doesn't.

Lifting his head, Renjun faces the guy who's so close to him. This time and distance Renjun can see his face clearly, he has strong and thick eyebrows, beautiful eyes, long lashes, prominent nose and ah, his lips, it's pink and chapped. Renjun had an urge to reach his hand out and picked the dried skin on his lips himself.

Renjun clenches his hands below, slapping himself enternally, just what the heck is he thinking? To a stranger even? How shameless Renjun! He scolded himself before calming down.

Renjun smiled and met the guy's eyes, "Hi! I am Huang Renjun. You can call me Renjun and we just moved here a few days ago. We live by the hill, you?" 

In actuality, Renjun is not good at dealing with people. It comes from the fact that he knows he won't be staying for a long period of time so he doesn't bother to make friends or be close to anyone. It's not that he is afraid of hurting himself but more for the well being of others, less interaction with him means less affection. 

That when the time comes that he will leave again like he always does, there won't be pain or anyone being left behind.

But, for the first time he defies his principle.

Renjun doesn't know if this is worth the gamble yet he is still willing to try.

The reason? He doesn't know himself, he just feels like he should.

"Na Jaemin, Nana for short or Jaemin do what suits you best." Jaemin said as he moved closer and raised his umbrella sheltering both him and Renjun from the rain.

To say that he was shocked by the gesture is an understatement, thank goodness Renjun got to stop himself from reacting strangely. Instead, "Thank you." he muttered his gratitude.

Another wave of silence fills both of them aside from the constant crashing of waves and the sound of the downpours. 

For a while Renjun was contemplating on if he should speak or not. He really doesn't know how to handle strangers.

Sighing, he mustered up his courage, "Can I ask you something Jaemin?" 

Jaemin who was on his fourth stone on the tower paused and then nodded letting out an, "en"

Renjun takes that as a yes and while his eyes are following Jaemin's movement below he asks him, "Did you build this for me?" he might sound assuming or full of himself but Renjun is just curious about this matter.

About the fact that the stone towers were made for him and him only.

That he wasn't wrong.

Because perhaps he is finally admitting to himself that what he deem as trash to his brother for putting much importance on this type of thing, is also happening to him.

It means so much.

Now Renjun has realized this.

"Yes." Jaemin answered right away without a moment of hesitation. Renjun sucks in a breath, he was right. "I saw you here that time when you were trying to build it, I guess I feel bad for you? That when you left I decided to make one for you. By any chance did that make you happy?"

Renjun nodded with his head still hanging low, "If I wasn't I wouldn't be here worrying about it being destroyed by the storm. Funny right?"

Jaemin hmm, "No it's not. If you can't see where both are weird to come here just for the sake of a stone tower. Don't you think so?" 

That makes Renjun giggles, "Well yes you're right that makes us two then." 

If they put it that way it is indeed a funny sight. Who in their right mind would run here just after the storm for the sake of a stone tower? No one right?

But this is not just a stone tower to them, it is more than that.

"Good." Renjun heard Jaemin say something but didn't really quite hear what it means because the rain got harsher making it harder to hear clearly.

Sensing the case being hopeless, Jaemin stood up and lent his hand for Renjun to help himself up. Which he readily accepted balancing himself until he's okay. "Thanks" Renjun uttered with a smile.

Renjun is quite nervous being around this new friend of his, is it okay to call it such? But anyways is his heart beating so fast normally between friends? Or it is just because it is their first meeting?

Well anyway it is not like it hurt, it's just new.

The lingering heat coming from Jaemin's palm still on his. Renjun then hurriedly buried his hands on his hoodie pockets. An action he doesn't understand why he did.

Jaemin leaned down and brought his lips to Renjun's ear, a thin plastic from his raincoat separated them," It will be hard to continue this. Let's just go back here when the weather is nice. Is that okay with you?" he proposes, his other hand that wasn't holding the umbrella held Renjun's elbow.

Renjun nodded, he wasn't planning on staying here for long anyway. He just came to check if the stone tower is still okay, if it's not there is nothing he could do so he will just go home and mull about it.

Then Jaemin and Renjun both went down together, Jaemin holding onto Renjun to not let him slip. He was very careful and cautious of their every step. Every now and then muttering words to Renjun, "Not there" , "Here" "Careful" "Beware of the stone" "It's slippery" "don't worry I'll hold you"

It's as if Renjun hasn't come here everyday since he moved here. He was kinda familiar with the way down already yet Renjun enjoyed his care, the way he handled him and how he is acting towards a person he just met.

Renjun guesses Jaemin is just like this, a good person who does good things to others.

This new and strange feeling that is brewing inside of him is exciting and interesting. Maybe that is why when he could have just kept his usual walls up towards other strangers he could but Renjun didn't.

Perhaps it has something to do with the intensity of Jaemin's eyes and how it just sucks you in.

Finally on the sand, Jaemin didn't let go and neither did Renjun remind him about it. Instead, "Will you walk me to our house?" Shameless, but what can he do? Renjun doesn't want this day to end just like that yet.

Renjun isn't usually like this, he has never asked someone for a favor aside from his brother or Hendery. He doesn't like owing anyone plus he is old enough to do things himself, he doesn't need help.

So, please remind him again why he is acting this way today. Truly not him!

To his surprise Jaemin agreed, like it's not that kind of a big deal.

"Sure. You can lead the way, plus it is troublesome to just let you go home yourself with how hard the rain is pouring your raincoat won't be able to cover you up." 

"My thoughts exactly, thank you."

"No worries. Here?" Jaemin asked when they reached the fork on the road towards the right, Renjun shook his head and pointed at the left side, "There."

"Oh?!" Jaemin exclaimed and walked towards her, "I thought right is always right I guess my luck is running out."

Renjun chuckles and says, "Seems like you aren't always lucky then, Jaemin." 

"Hmm, probably." Jaemin answered but then paused on his walk dragging Renjun with him, "What? Something wrong?" He asked eyes searching Jaemin who stared at him.

It is a lot. Looking at Jaemin's black and brown eyes when hit by the light. It's deep, hard to understand what is inside, and very enthralling.

Still with the accompanying sound of the light downpour, voices from the distance and the rustling of leaves Renjun can still hear their breathing.

That is how close they are.

With Jaemin covering their heads with his umbrella, he leaned down to face Renjun at the same level as a sly look on his face.

He can feel the tips of his ear reddening from the look Jaemin is giving him, "W-what?" Renjun stutters.

"I think I am still quite lucky." Jaemin said with a smile on his face gone is the previous look while Renjun is at a loss.

"How?"

"Well, I found you here. Isn't that enough reason to be lucky?" Jaemin playfully said, lips twitching up and eyes glinting with mirth.

"Urgh! We just met today, you jerk, don't be so fast!" Renjun complains then moves his body away running to the direction where his house is alone.

Okay, Renjun knew he reacted strongly but can anyone blame him? He thought Jaemin was cold and aloof, someone who's kinda hard to get to know. Not like this flirty and very advanced type of Jaemin.

He was just caught off guard. No one has done this to him.

When he was fairly far Renjun looked back while heaving, catching his breath. He put both of his hands on his mouth, "See you tomorrow Nana!" he shouted loudly, his voice trying to break in on the sound of rain.

Jaemin who was just there standing waiting for Renjun to be out of his sight, smiled to himself. 

"I will." 

Renjun heard his response then he turned around with ease and ran back up.

They will see each other again tomorrow, that's great.

Na Jaemin.

To others it might be strange for Renjun to act this way towards a stranger now he calls his friend the day they just met. 

He can't deny that there is this connection that only felt towards Jaemin. It is that kind of connection that if he ever did what he usually did to others, Renjun might regret it.

Perhaps being here this time, in this new place will also be a start of something new for Renjun.

And he can't help but look forward to what it is.

The night flies by so fast that if someone will ask Renjun if he slept he can't surely answer that he did. He feels like he just blinks his eyes and it's the morning already. Contrary to the previous weather, today was a bright and sunny morning. 

All those natural sounds that were once drowned out by the heavy raindrops came back. That was what prompted Renjun to leave his room, the sound of the bird singing.

Hendery greeted Renjun with an enthusiastic smile while wearing his spiciest pepper apron holding a baking pan on both hands.

Renjun raised his brows in question, "What got you so busy so early in the morning?" He asked when he entered the kitchen, his brother has his hands full with baking ingredients even his face has that cliche flour on.

His brother Xiaojun didn't bother lifting his head from what he was doing, "Just a little celebratory for the beautiful weather. We have been cooped up here due to the bad weather the past few days and it's only natural to celebrate a little. Don't you think so?" 

"Help yourself up, take the cover off while the food is still hot." Xiaojun added, "No. I don't understand whatever it is. You do you hyung." Renjun uncaringly answered for his earlier question.

Xiaojun just shakes his head in silence letting his younger brother eat his food. 

After he was done filling his stomach to the brim, Renjun sat there for a few minutes staring at nothing in particular.

"Hyung, can you prepare a tupperware with what you're doing for me? I will take it with me near the sea today. Is that okay with you?" 

His request shocked Xiaojun but he was fast to compose himself, smiling widely he agreed. "Is one enough for you? I can prepare two if you'd like?"

"Okay."

Xiaojun is always like that. He knew that it is only him and Hendery that his younger brother is comfortable to ask for something to that is why everytime Renjun asks anything that he could or couldn't do, Xiaojun will still do it for his younger brother just to make him happy.

This actually boils down to the fact that he became like this because his parents entrusted him the role of both being a mother and a father figure for his brother at such a young age.

Renjun is forever grateful for his brother's undying love and care for him. He can always feel it wherever he is even a thousand miles away that's how strong it is.

Sometimes he just feels bad for acting a brat hence he will just do things on his own. Yet every time he did this his brother will feel like he is no longer needed and that Renjun is now a grown up that doesn't need his assistance anymore.

That isn't the case.

Both of them just want to do something for each other in a different way.

And in order to keep it balanced one needs to take a step back. That is what Renjun did, that once in a while he will whine and request for something from his brother and seeing his joyful face is enough to warm his heart.

While his brother busied himself with that Renjun used the time to take a bath and change his clothes. This time he wore his mint green shirt with a dinosaur print and a pair of black pedal shorts. He also brought his satchel with him, he planned to sketch if he has the time.

Wearing his finishing touch, a white cap, Renjun returns to the kitchen where Xiaojun and Hendery are feeding each other cakes while his brother sits on his boyfriend's lap.

"Really, I don't want to see such things guys. Please have some respect." 

The two broke out in laughter seeing his disgusted face then his brother stood up, picked a paper bag and handed it to him. 

"Here there are two packs, one for the cake and one for your lunch although it is good for three people since we don't have small tupperware here. I also prepare you two flasks, one for your favorite watermelon shake and one for cold water. Enjoy your time junie!" 

With a sound kiss on his cheek Renjun finally left the house in a hurry.

The sun shines so brightly that for a moment it almost blinded Renjun. Coming from days of darkness he wasn't used to being bathed in such light, the wind wasn't hot instead it was cool and very refreshing as it slapped his face while he descended the hill.

This type of lifestyle here in the island or countryside is something Renjun finds solace and comfort. Even though they did try for a couple of years to live in the city the urban life is not for him.

He isn't suited for that kind of life because time and time again he will seek for this calm and peaceful place where he can do whatever he pleases.

When the time comes where he will have to face and brace the life in the city again, Renjun doesn't think he can survive it.

When a person is already so used at something it will be hard for them to get it over with and start with a new one.

Well perhaps this doesn't apply to all but it does for Renjun.

Renjun hummed a tune from the song he played earlier while he was taking a shower, too engrossed in his little world that he didn't see the figure standing at the foot of the hill waiting for him.

Just when he was a few steps down did he notice Jaemin standing there. In his sleeveless black tee, a black cap and white shorts and a pair of black slippers. A contrast on his bright look yesterday.

For a moment Renjun was in a trance. With the glow of the sun hitting his skin, Jaemin stood there so handsomely. He looks so tall and pleasing to the eyes that if not for Jaemin calling his name Renjun won't stop staring.

"Renjun!"

Snapping out from his trance, Renjun grin and wave his free hand shouting back, "Hi Jaemin!"

It's actually surprising. 

Both of them didn't agree on a time of meeting each other yet here they are. Somehow reading each other's mind and bathing themselves with their presence.

Jaemin helped Renjun with his belongings, "I can take this. It's fine."

"Nah, you look so frail I'm afraid you'll break if you continue to carry this." Jaemin jokes while lifting the satchel. "It's quite heavy, what's inside?"

Walking side by side Renjun looks at their feet while smiling, "Oh that? Paints, brushes and some drawing materials." Jaemin let out a surprised noise.

Curious Renjun looked at him and probed, "Why?"

Jaemin too looks at him then grins, "Nothing. It's just nice to know that somehow your hands have its use."

Aggrieved, "What's that supposed to mean?" Jaemin laughs, his eyes twinkling lips twitching beautifully, "I thought you have clumsy hands, that's all don't take it to heart hm?" is what he said but the playfulness in his voice is very apparent.

No choice, Renjun sneered and said, "Hmp! I won't share my food with you then. My brother even prepared this himself, I was thinking of eating this with you and now I changed my mind." 

"Oh mo, is our renjun sulking?" Jaemin teased, for someone who just met each other yesterday sure both of them act so comfortably with each other.

"Hmp!"

"Aiyoo, that's bad. What should I do?" In a tiny and fake worried voice, Jaemin murmured to himself out loud enough for Renjun to hear.

"Oh please you stop!" Unable to hold back his laughter Renjun lightly slapped Jaemin on the side.

"Ouch sadist!" Jaemin cried out rubbing his side.

"What?" Renjun bites back.

Shaking his head Jaemin assures, "Nothing nothing. Let's go."

They then continued walking to where they were yesterday or so Renjun thought because they bypassed the rock formation and instead walked a little further before they stopped and what greeted him was a small bamboo cabin with a cloth swing on the side tide on two trees.

"Wow." 

"Like it? My father built this for me when I was a kid because he knew how much I love to come to sea. Might as well have a place to rest out when I get tired. Over the years I kept it clean and remodelled a bit as I grew up enough to fix some stuff. Praise me for a job well done, our renjun!" Jaemin pressured as he elbowed Renjun on the side.

"Hurry hurry." 

Rolling his eyes, "Fine. Didn't you hear me say wow earlier? Of course it's beautiful, it's your father's work after all. He did a very good job and I am satisfied." Renjun nodded his head in approval while he scanned the place, pleased.

It was Jaemin's time to sulk, "Urgh you giant baby stop pouting you look ugly. Yes, yes it's very nice you did a good job now stop it! Won't you show me what's inside?" 

Having his childishness sated, Jaemin walked first to the door and like a butler he bowed his head one hand on his middle while the other signalling on the door. "Please come in master!"

And now a role play? Really?

Renjun played along anyway and stepped foot inside, what's inside is something he didn't expect. 

The small place was designed as a loof style, right after entering is a small living room, carpeted floor and a coffee table enough to fit two people, two bean bags and a flatscreen tv on the wall. 

On the side from the wall is a room probably for the bathroom, and beside the bathroom is the stairs to the top where a bed is located with dark blue covers. And below the bed is a desk with two monitors, cameras and a computer chair.

On the other side of the wall opposite the tv is a kitchenette with just a small refrigerator, coffee maker and tableware is at.

"How did you manage to fit all of this here?" Renjun can't help but asked in astonishment, feet walking to the frames decorated on the walls.

It was a photograph of different sceneries. It was such a beautiful picture.

"Magic." Jaemin responded by closing the door and plopping on one of the bean bags.

Renjun walked back to where Jaemin is at and placed the paper bag on the coffee table then went back to exploring the place.

The bathroom is cleaned, with just a shower head, cubicle and sink. Renjun also walked up to the short stairs and lay down on the bed. 

Is this what Jaemin smells? He asked himself when he caught a whip of scent from the blankets and pillows. It's not strong to his nose, instead it's quite comforting.

"Comfortable?" Jaemin shouted from the living room which was just a few feet away actually.

Renjun laughed quietly then nodded before realizing that Jaemin couldn't see him so he shouted back, "Yes very!"

"Good." 

And they stayed like that for a while.

Jaemin just showed Renjun his secret place on the second day that they met. It means he trusts him enough to do that. With this thought Renjun doesn't know how to really feel about that. This is a first for him. 

He isn't sure of what he was supposed to feel or if he should feel anything. 

One thing is clear though, he is happy to be shown such a thing. It also means he is special. And that trust? Renjun will not break it.

This is too early to say but Renjun hopes he won't jinx it, he hopes he can stay.

Actually Renjun is quite envious, deep down he did want to have a place of his own not that he is tired of having his brother or Hendery. Sometimes he wanted to be alone.

To be able to do things without the care of others.

Must be nice ha?

"Nana?" Renjun called out tentatively then heard a low hum from where Jaemin is at.

A smile unconsciously appeared on his face, "Did you take these pictures on the wall?"

"Yes." Jaemin replied after a beat of silence he added, "Do you like it?" 

"Hmm." Renjun mumbled unsure if Jaemin heard as he buried his face on Jaemin's pillow inhaling his scent, "You take beautiful snaps." his voice muffled.

"What?" Jaemin confusedly asked, making him laugh, "I said it's beautiful you should take my picture sometimes!" Renjun yells while lifting his head a little then falling down after.

Renjun heard his laugh, deep and melodious a distance away resonating in this small cabin that holds the two of them.

"Sure. In time."

"Yeah. In time."

That time didn't come.

They spent the day watching movies and eating the food Xiaojun prepared for them. Gone is his plan to sketch and for Jaemin to build a stone tower for him, well it can wait anyway.

And throughout they talked about each other, Renjun found out that Jaemin is an only child, his father is the village chief, his mother the village's daycare teacher and his grandparents owning a farm uphill too. They simply grew up here, all of them. Although they sometimes went to the city to visit or for vacation, they will always come back here because this is their home.

Renjun didn't spare his truth as well, he said that he is living with his brother and his boyfriend. His parents are both doctors who are here on a medical mission which Jaemin added in interest about how he heard from his father how thankful he is for their arrival. Since it's been a month when the pandemic in the small tribe in the deepest part of the island spreads.

"Those people who stayed here aren't villagers here?" 

"We called them villagers at first but their tribe head doesn't want to be lumped up with people like us, his words not ours, and the previous village chief respected that hence it stayed like this."

"It's a surprise that they accepted the help of doctors from the city?

"Hmm, kinda. But due to the grave situations of his tribesmen he really can't say no to outsiders' help so he gave in."

"That's a relief. Have you been there?"

"Me? No no, only the village chief is allowed to enter their place. We villagers aren't allowed. We somehow manage to live in harmony because no one breaks the rules we abide by it and it's really nice."

In their third movie they watch Barbie and the Diamond Castle. The two of them singing the song word for word clearly shows how many times they've seen the movie already.

They were laughing at first because when Renjun saw the name on the list he didn't expect Jaemin to be a Barbie watcher he thought it was just he, his brother and hendery who enjoyed watching it. He was proven wrong.

He found Jaemin to watch it alongside him.

Thus, Barbie it is.

"It's so rare to find a friend like you  
Somehow when you're around the sky is always blue  
The way we talk  
The things you say  
The way you make it all ok  
And how you know  
All of my jokes  
But you laugh anyway"

Their eyes meet at that moment and both giggle for something only they know why.

"If I could wish for one thing  
I take the smile that you bring  
Wherever you go in this world I'll come along  
Together we dream the same dream  
Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me  
Oh oh oh  
Two voices, one song"

Perhaps the song is magical in itself because throughout it Renjun can't seem to tear the smile plastered on his face and he too doesn't want to take it. 

Because Jaemin was smiling too, he looked so beautiful sitting two steps away from him. Eyes sparkling in the dark with only the light from the tv screen illuminates them.

Beautiful. Jaemin is beautiful.

And it will always be magical because it is Jaemin.

Since then the two of them spent most of their days together. When Renjun told Xiaojun about him meeting a friend here on the island he was so happy that every time he left the house a pack of food would be on his hands courtesy of his brother, "Share it with your new friend okay? If there is something he likes or is allergic to tell me and I'll take note. Enjoy!"

Sometimes they will just go to the sea, Renjun will sketch or paint while Jaemin will take pictures or find beautiful seashells and share them with him.

Days when it's too hot, they will just stay inside the cabin with the air condition in full blast drinking the shakes his brother prepared for them and watching Hikaru no go.

And just like that it's been three months already, summer is already ending soon and a new season is just around the corner. Renjun didn't expect to last that long here.

With summer ending that also means Jaemin is going to school soon. 

Jaemin is taking up Photography in Seoul where he lives in a dorm and he goes home during the weekend when he's not busy. 

Their time together is ending too.

Jaemin will leave Renjun here.

One night during his brother and Hendery's anniversary they invited Jaemin to have dinner with them.

With Jaemin sitting beside him Renjun grumbles, "Shouldn't you be spending your night alone together? I am being considerate enough because I can just stay at the cabin with Jaemin and let you enjoy the house to your heart's content."

Xiaojun waves his hand in dismissal, blushing furiously while Hendery laughs so hard he falls on his seat and Jaemin just chuckles, "Oh shut up! Just sit there and eat your food geez."

"You're lost." Renjun teases with a shrug.

"Stop it!"

So they ate heartily, occasionally talking where Hendery most of the time carried the conversation asking Jaemin questions after questions then talking about computer games that Renjun doesn't really understand.

While they sit and eat, Renjun in his heart feels full. He likes it like this, all of them laughing together. Their house is full of life. 

That even without a parentals presence they could be happy and be family normally.

This is rare and is something he will surely treasure.

"Jaemin I will remind you. This Renjun? He is a handful, very picky with food and throws tantrums now and then you should be very patient with him." Hendery told Jaemin like the father that he should be.

On the side Renjun just sneered but stayed silent, "Really? He doesn't act like that with me though. In fact he is very cute and behaves when he's around me that sometimes it makes me wonder if God has sent me an angel instead." Jaemin speaks eyes meeting Renjun somewhere in the middle making the other avert his eyes because it's too much and his cheek is heating up.

"Cute?!" Hendery asked, "Are we talking about the same Renjun? I think there must be a mistake somewhere."

"Tsk."

"Shh stop it don't anger our baby anymore. Don't listen to him Jaemin, my baby brother is the best I will vouch for him."

"Why does it sound like you're selling me off?"

"No no no, when you look at it this way it should be us who pays Jaemin for taking you in given your characte-"

"What's that supposed to mean?!"

All night in that small table that fits only four people, they form a bond with each other and an affection that can't be taken even a few years of separation.

Actually it terrifies Renjun inside, he has been very content and happy since he arrived here and at times he wonders if he deserves such.

Many thoughts running inside his brain about the what ifs, what if it will be taken away with him sooner or later.

His walls that he built on himself since forever crumbled down that easily when he first saw Jaemin in the rain building stone tower for him.

He thought he was strong enough not to cave in so easily but guess he was wrong again because it only took a Na Jaemin for him to collapse and bare himself naked in front of him to see.

Even though he is torn about what he is truly feeling Renjun decided to just choose the positive side and worry about the negative some other time.

It won't be sooner right?

One day they found themselves in the rock formation, where if one looks around their eyes will land on stone towers in different lengths and sizes scattered courtesy of Jaemin with the help of Renjun who brings stones for him.

Renjun sat on the stall sipping his cold water and Jaemin on the other hand was on his fifth stone putting it seriously.

This is one of the rare days where they just want to do nothing but build stone stowers, well just Jaemin.

Yesterday they spent their time swimming in the sea that there are already tan lines forming on Renjun's skin but he doesn't mind.

His life since Jaemin entered has never been dull and the same like before. There are always things to do with him, too many ways to be happy and carefree with him.

Jaemin is just like that, he is full of life and brimming with energy with him.

He always shines so bright. And he made it also his goal to make sure that Renjun is having a good time and that he will never be bored.

Looking back, Renjun wasn't really expecting much on this island. He still remembers telling his brother then not to unpack all of their things because it will only be a short stay, guess he is wrong again.

Because he wishes and hopes it will be a long one. Renjun can't imagine a life without Jaemin as it goes right now. 

That will be too much of a heartache if that time ever comes.

Jaemin has become a constant in his life this past few months and everyday they are together, strengthening that bond and making their growing feelings bloom.

That sometimes it is hard to keep them in store, that any moment one might burst.

From where he sat Renjun blessed his eyes with Jaemin's side profile. His jaw was prominent and very deadly, sweat coming from the heat dripping on his neck, his long lashes hanging beautifully, lips chapped from the temperature.

When he was done Renjun beckoned Jaemin over, when he squatted in front of him. Renjun naturally lifted his towel and wiped Jaemin's sweat for him. After he lifted the cold water with a metal straw in and put it on Jaemin's lips, "Drink." And like a child Jaemin obeyed eyes and focused on Renjun.

Renjun can feel his gaze on him of course, Jaemin has this habit of staring when they are close to each other. And most of the time his eyes will be on his lips when he is talking, making Renjun conscious.

"How many?"

"34." Jaemin answered after gulping, then proceeded to drink more. It took a lot of willpower for Renjun to tear his eyes away from those lips wrapped on that metal straw.

Renjun nodded then licks his lower lip unconsciously unaware of the eyes who hardened at the sight of them. Renjun's eyes landed on the cute stone tower in front, Jaemin made a goal of making fifty stone towers for him and now he's on his 34th close yet a bit far.

"Impressive." Renjun muses eyes landing back on Jaemin whose eyes are on him the whole time. He sucks on a breath and awkwardly smiles after, "Too hot? Should we head back inside? You can continue on that next time."

Jaemin noncommittally agreed he picked the stall and followed Renjun to the cabin.

On their way, Renjun has his hands on his throat. He is very nervous for some reason, it's not like it's the first time they're resting there when in fact it became like their real house instead of the other. They spent more time there than their own houses.

But the air this time is different, it's thicker and tense.

Like something is about to burst.

What or who Renjun doesn't know.

When they entered the cabin Renjun sighed and tried to turn on the lights because they had the dark curtains down that despite the sun outside, the room inside is clouded in darkness but before he could his wrist was caught and he was slammed to the door with a thud.

Renjun groaned, closing his eyes at the impact, "Sorry, are you hurt?" Jaemin asked in the dark, voice dangerously close towards Renjun's face.

"No, I'm good just taken aback." Renjun reponse voice hoarse somehow.

"Good." 

And with that before Renjun could comprehend what he said his lips were covered with wet ones. He should be repulsed or disgusted but he isn't.

He was only shocked at Jaemin's action for a few seconds then he gladly raised his hands on the side and circled it on Jaemin's neck finding its rightful place.

His hold tightens when Jaemin's hands finds its way on his waist lifting the hem of his shirt a little making contact with his flat stomach then descending lower and on his thighs where a muffled huff left his lips when Jaemin easily carried him on his arms wrapping his legs on his waist.

Renjun moans as he opens his lips wider and Jaemin lapped on his tongue, sucking on it lightly and biting too. For a first kiss this sure is quite different than he expected.

Inside Renjun is a hopeless romantic, from spending most of times watching movies he somehow expected his first kiss will be like one of those.

But strangely, this is better than he imagined.

Their lips molded perfectly, Jaemin makes sure to hear more of those little noises Renjun makes. His lips working its magic on the other. 

Needing for air they pull apart, foreheads resting on each other. Both catching their breath. Heart racing and filling the atmosphere.

"Good?"

"Good." 

Jaemin's lips automatically find Renjun in the dark like he knows where it really is. Somehow getting the gist on how this works Renjun responded with the same enthusiasm.

His moans and cries fill the room, Jaemin pulls back from the door, lips still on each other while he expertly walks towards the stair and onto the bed. 

The moment Renjun's back hit the bed his top was then thrown off right away he wasn't given a moment to adjust when the same lips who was seconds before on his own sucking and biting is now on his nipples lapping it.

"Oh god!" Renjun cried out fisting Jaemin's hair when he bites on his nipple.

Jaemin's tongue and touches on him is burning his skin inside and out in an oddly good way.

Renjun arch his back beautifully and moan loudly as he felt Jaemin's hand on his clothed erection. "Ahh, Jaemin hmm, slow down."

"Y-yeah? We haven't started yet and you want me to slow down?"

"Hmm, just kiss me please."

Jaemin obeyed.

Renjun didn't know if it was still bright outside or what when they were done. All he knows is that he is sore but content at the same time.

With a pair of arms holding him closely, a warm breath fanning on his neck, and this person's heat transferring to his person.

He snuggled closer and sighed happily. 

"You okay baby?" Jaemin asked after planting a soft kiss on his forehead. Renjun nodded then mumbles, "Just sore."

Jaemin's laughter then vibrated, "I'm sorry about that I was a bit in a hurry earlier." he reasoned out but they both know he isn't entirely sorry and Renjun doesn't blame him.

"Tsk just say you were hungry and go."

"I mean who wouldn't, seeing you?" 

"Keep lying."

"I'm not. If only you see yourself in my eyes baby, you're the most beautiful person i ever met."

"Oh shush."

Their sync breathing is the only sound that can be heard inside, both of them lost in thought.

Renjun knew what they did and its implications. It is not something they can rewind and take back, he also doesn't plan to. He wanted it.

It's a lie if he said he doesn't like the way Jaemin's arms fall securely on him, his little kisses every now and then, his cute laugh and how he calls him his baby.

At first Renjun doesn't like being called as such he only consented his brother as an exemption, he guess Jaemin also falls in that category.

Although he can't shake away the negative thoughts inside. It is always there, it stays. It is a reminder that there are still a lot of possibilities out there. But Renjun doesn't want those possibilities, he prefers the life he has right now with his brother and Hendery being as happy as ever and him here safe in Jaemin's arms.

Is it too much to ask to just have his life stay like this? Where everyone is happy and in their rightful places?

Would it hurt anyone to give this to him?

Because for the first time after being used to living and living, Renjun wanted to stay.

He finally found a home he badly long since he was a kid.

Please don't take it away from him.

Renjun groans and wraps his own arms on Jaemin's torso wanting to feel the other closer than they already are, "Why baby?" Jaemin concernly asked.

"Nothing. I just want you closer. Want to feel you." 

"Of course. Baby, I'm here. Nana is here."

With his head on Jaemin's chest, the other placed a kiss on his hair, hands rubbing soothingly on his side.

This is nice, just how he wanted it. Safe and secure in the arms of the man who cares and values him so much.

This is enough for him.

Just before his consciousness falls Renjun heard Jaemin whispered,

"I like you Renjun so damn much it hurts sometimes."

He thought to himself with his tightly closed eyes,

"Me too Jaemin. And it scared me to admit because it's a first for me. Yet, deep down I am willing to try."

Yet that try didn't come.

Renjun woke up from the constant kisses on his face, he scrunched his face. "Stop its ticklish," he says giggling.

Yet the culprit didn't stop.

Jaemin keeps on pestering him to wake up.

"Wake up baby." Jaemin whispered huskily in his ear. Perhaps it's because he just woke up? His voice sounds deeper than usual and quite seductive.

Memories of yesterday's escapade had Renjun burying his face on Jaemin's arms again, he's embarrassed to say the least.

A light chuckle left Jaemin's lips, eyes lingered on the soft and curly hair on his fingers right now owned by the person he likes. 

"We should get up, we haven't eaten a single thing since yesterday. I'm starving."

Hearing that Renjun realized that it was late in the afternoon when they, he actually planned to rest but was instead pinned on the door unexpectedly.

At that instant Renjun's stomach grumbles, "See? Now up up you go. Nana will cook for you." 

"Up now lazy head." 

Renjun groans and lay flat on the bed staring at Jaemin who stood up and went to the side where his closet is, taking a white shirt and putting it on. Remnants of last night's filth is on perfect display on his body.

It was probably a rough night.

Gulping Renjun averts his eyes and instead looks up on the ceiling mind blank.

Just as he was almost lull back to sleep Jaemin's smiling and beautiful morning face hovered over him then landed on his lips with a loud sound.

Like that they kissed for a while, a different kiss compared to yesterday. It's not lacking not too much, just the right amount of emotion and affection that they can pour for each other to savor.

Jaemin's lips on his will be a new addiction Renjun finds himself in. It is well a very great addiction to say the least. It fits him so damn much.

And it feels good.

It makes him full of something he can't name yet.

When they pull away slowly, faces inches away that kind of smile that screams contentment are plastered on their face.

They are glowing just like the morning sun outside.

It's so calm and nice that is why it's scary.

That morning Jaemin cooked simply on just what's available, mainly toasted bread, put a mayonnaise, fried egg with bacon and cup of coffee. It's a western style of breakfast that is easy to cook in this small cabin of theirs.

They ate slowly, Renjun feeding Jaemin while he sat on his lap comfortably. Both sipping on the same cup of coffee, the pink filter surrounding the two of them.

Their spring has come.

A bit early because it was supposed to be autumn in reality.

As they bid each other farewell for the moment standing at the fork on the road. Jaemin refused to let go, playfully and childishly throwing a tantrum.

It took a lot of him to have him to let go because Renjun too doesn't want to let go but he has to, his brother Xiaojun should be worried about him.

He needed to go back to his house.

And go back he did after making a pinky promise with Jaemin only did he reluctantly let go.

Renjun was shocked at the silence that welcomed him when he entered their wooden gate. Usually this early in the morning Hendery will be blasting his favorite songs by My Chemical Romance or Secondhand Serenade pouring his hearts out. So it's unusual for a morning to be this quiet.

His questions were answered the moment his foot step inside, his eyes landing on the dining table where four people are seated.

Two of them had their head bowed.

"Is this the time for you to be home?"

"Renjun go to your room first." 

Both his father and Xiaojun said at the same time.

His father's angry eyes pointed at Xiaojun, "What are you doing Xiaojun? I am asking my son, stop protecting him!"

Hendery stood up and walked up to him, whispering to just dont mind them and go to his room first. Right when he was about to just turn a deaf ear and go to his room his father's loud voice booms inside.

"Is this what happens if we just leave you on your own? You don't respect your parents, don't even bother to tell them where you went and why you are late? Is that it?! Is this how you should be looking after your brother Xiaojun? Just how did you r-"

"Shut up!" Renjun fights for his brother's stead. Immediately Xiaojun's eyes widened at him when he spoke, shaking his head Xiaojun said, "Shhh go back inside, hen." He signals Hendery to take Renjun away but he was adamant on staying.

"Did you just talk back to your father?" The bulge on his father's forehead reddens from anger.

"You dare call yourself my father when you are barely here? Aren't you ashamed?" Renjun mocks his father not planning on backing down this time.

"Ha! The audacity of this brat!"

"Stop!" 

Finally his mother yells after staying silent all the time. She had her head covered in both hands. The house quietens due to that with her normal speaking voice it was still heard by everyone.

"This is my fault. I didn't raise Xiaojun enough that if I did he would have been competent to look after Renjun and not like this. Xiaojun he-"

"Oh please shut the fuck up!" Renjun cut his mother, isa ka pa!

"You brat-"

"Both of you shut the fuck up! Ha! The person whom you are blaming and scolding is my brother! Who at such a young age was forced to learn to cook because his son of a bitch parents arent around to take care of him and his younger brother.

With his small hands he tried to cook for his younger brother. Cuts and burns covered his tiny fingers but everytime his younger brother asked him if he was okay he would just cover it with a smile and answer instead, 'It is okay, as long as you can eat.'

When that younger brother was down with a fever, he took care of him and when it was too much carried him to the hospital with his thin and frail arms. His younger brother was diagnosed with dengue. You aren't aware right? That's how useless of a parent you are!

And throughout his younger brother's graduation he was there as the only family member to congratulate him because as usual his parents are absent.

Just ask yourself, what's the point of giving birth to two sons when you can't even look after them yourself?

Why be a doctor when even your own sons can't help and care yourself? What's the point?!

The same person you are ridiculing right now is the only family member I acknowledge so stop with your parents act because you don't deserve it! You lost your right the moment you left us on our own!

And lastly, I am so fed up by being your footprint. Your shadow who constantly follows you wherever you are without having his own destination himself. 

You took my rights for a life to live normal. You made me build a wall to guard myself of something that can be avoided if you just fully gave us our freedom which you didn't.

So stop, it's already too late to call yourself our parents because I no longer consider you as one. You lost your son a long time ago and you are will aware on who's fault that is.``

Finishing giving everything inside his mind Renjun ran back outside, tears streaming on his face furiously like waterfalls.

He was right. His days were filled with so much fun that it was scary, because here it is.

One should really never bask in constant happiness because pain will come knocking on your door.

Renjun just didn't expect it to be this early. He was sure it would be when Jaemin would go back to school not like this.

This is just too cruel.

Jaemin, oh god Jaemin.

Renjun fell on his knees when he reached the highest part of the hill overlooking the sea. And cries, this is the end.

Jaemin who built the stone tower for him because he felt bad seeing his sad look back then. Who is on his 34th out of 50 stone towers for him. Who cooks for him, plays with his hair, lets him paint his nails with bright colors, who watches Barbie movies with him.

Who was his first friend.

His first kiss.

The first person he likes.

And it is sad because Jaemin wasn't able to finish his stone towers for him.

Wasn't able to take his picture for him.

And Renjun wasn't able to keep his promise with Jaemin.

The person whom he pinky promised just awhile ago but not letting go, not leaving, just staying.

Just how cruel can the world be to him?

Just when things were getting better.

When he found the reason to stay.

Renjun, hates everything.

with Jaemin as an exemption.

[ postscript #2 ]

"I know you want me, I want you too isn't that enough?" Jaemin asked with his voice shaking and eyes turning red from tears threatening to fall and there Renjun felt his heart throb at the sight.

"Will there ever be enough?" He replied instead while he cast his eyes away from Jaemin because it gets harder to bear seeing him in that state, moreso when he knows he's the reason why Jaemin is like that.

Sounding desperate, Jaemin continued,"I want you to stay with me. Or I can stay with you either way, please just let me be with you." It is the please that did it, had Renjun staring back at those eyes that never leaves him.

He's breath got caught in his chest by the intensity of Jaemin's gaze, had him choking back a sob as salty water like the oceans on his back fell on his face trailing behind a print and disappearing right after.

"You can find me there," he said, even with his voice breaking the intent of his words filled with promises he knows he won't break.

Biting his lower lip and sucking it back because he can't stop it from quivering, Jaemin asks,"where?"

A smile made its way on his ocean filled face, with the setting sun on his back meeting the sea. The light casted on him made Renjun look more ethereal than he already is, something Jaemin wants to get a hold of and never let go.

"Where the sea sleeps."

He said voice drowning out by the loud clashing of the waves hitting the rocks.

[ postscript #1 ]

With Renjun on arms , his back leaning on his chest, the sun setting in front of them, Jaemin asked him the question that has been lingering on the back of his mind for some time now. "Why the sea?"

Renjun paused from playing with Jaemin's fingers where a silver band lies on his ring finger, he asked back, "Why not the sea?"

Eyes on the sun and sea kissing, Jaemin hummed a response before sighing out, "You, why do you keep on answering questions from questions?"

Feeling wronged, Renjun slapped Jaemin on the side and argued, "Why can't I?"

"Because you have to answer." Jaemin simply says.

It's the golden hour. Probably around 5:53 in the afternoon and the orange glow of the sun is being casted on them sitting on the sand, just blessing their eyes with its beauty.

Renjun bit his lower lip, mind searching for the right words to say he pouted then, "That's why I'm asking because I don't know the answer!"

From where Jaemin was, he looked down and tilted Renjun's face towards him, he leaned forward planting a soft kiss, "How will you know if you keep on asking?"

"Isn't that the purpose? We ask because we want to know the answer. We need to."

He has a point. Jaemin nodded then shrugged, "Well yeah, most of the time. But did you know? Sometimes we already know the answer even before the question is formed."

"Like how?" That statement has piqued Renjun's interest.

With a low voice Jaemin meets Renjun's eyes and seriously whispers enough for the other to hear clearly, "Like how I already knew I liked you before I even started asking myself."

A sound of the waves crashing on the sand fills the air. It was almost dark now with just small traces of orange tint in the sky. But enough light to see each other's expression perfectly.

"Do you know why I keep on answering questions by questions?" 

"Why?"

"Because I'm afraid I might say the wrong answer." his voice lowered, like he wasn't sure he wanted to be heard.

"Like how?"

"Like how if you asked me if I like you I might answer that I like you too, I'm scared you won't like it." Renjun couragely confesses this time, fuck uncertainties.

Jaemin blinks back his surprise, blinks again, guessing he wasn't hearing things.

"What do you think?"

Anxious inside, Renjun asked back with a slight tremble, "What do you think?" 

"I like it."

With a load off his chest, Renjun breaths out a sigh of relief. "Then that's good."

"That's it?" Jaemin shockingly asks, waiting to hear more words from the other.

Renjun nodded with certainty. "That's it. Want me to say more?"

"Do you want to say more?"

"I like you, Na Jaemin."

A smile he was suppressing inside makes its way on Jaemin's face. Thankful for the darkness Renjun won't be able to see the redness on his cheek.

Pleased, "Good, me too I like you Huang Renjun."

"Hmm, then we're good."

"Yeah, we're good, so good."

For a while they stayed in that position. It will be an hour or so since they sat there. Arms on each other while they enjoy the warmth from the sun and its presence until it is no longer in the sky.

Gone but is just there somewhere.

They finally found each other again after the ups and downs and it was only this time did they make their feelings for each other clear.

A bit delayed than what's supposed to be but at the least they did and their feelings never faded.

And that is what matters most.

"So why the sea?" Jaemin tries to ask again his curiosity eating him.

Amusement on his face Renjun held back his laughter, "Really? You'll keep on asking me that?"

"Of course, I will ask you again and again until you find the answer yourself. Or maybe you already knew but are only waiting for the question to be asked, which is which?"

Finding it hopeless to keep on dodging such harmless questions Renjun lets out a breath and looks up front where the darkness meets his eyes. "Ahh, well the latter."

"Why?"

With every crashing sound of the wave despite the dark enveloping it, Renjun can still see its beauty as clear as day. "Because even before, I already knew the sea would lead me to you."

Shocked, Jaemin hurriedly asked, "M-me? Why me?"

"Why not you?" he asked back.

"Right, why not me?"

"A long long time ago I asked the sea for guidance and looked at me now, sitting beside you in front of the sea. Leading me to be with you eventually. satisfied now?"

Jaemin's lips won't stop twitching yet he tried to play it off nonchalantly, "Kind of, but can you repeat it? It was a bit choppy at first."

Rolling his eyes Renjun scolded, "Just say you want to boost your ego and go.  
I like you."

"Shut up! I like you too!"

Renjun did shut up courtesy of Jaemin's lips on him, silencing him with his passionate kisses. Full of love and emotions that accumulated throughout the years with nothing to vent out on.

The wait paid off, and with the darkness casted on them two silhouettes sitting there on the sand facing the void of the sea looking like something out of a painting.

They're finally back in each other's arms.

**Author's Note:**

> So, thank you so much for making it this far. Comments and kudos are highly appreciated. Sorry for any mistakes or errors here please don't mind. Sankyu again! (´ ▽｀).。ｏ♡


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